The Birth of Runi
Our Runi Rae was born at home in our trailer on August 9th, 2020. This is our story.
Our baby’s due date came and went, and I was relieved to make it full-term this time. It meant that I would be able to have the homebirth that I had wanted with my beautiful midwife, Shari. Trevor and I dropped Jack off to play with his cousins, and we headed to my last prenatal appointment. All was well. My midwife performed a membrane sweep, and then Trevor and I had a late lunch of extra spicy Indian food.
That night, my contractions began. I stayed in bed and breathed through them for as long as I could until I decided that it would all be easier to endure standing up and moving around instead. It was around 2:45am, and I let Trevor sleep. I downloaded an app to time my contractions, and about an hour later, when they were 3-4 minutes apart for about 1 minute long, I went in and woke Trevor up. He started making calls and texts to my midwife, the photographer, my parents, and family. Together, we began the rhythm of breathing through surges together; joking, crying, and talking about life in between.
The sun was beginning to rise as the photographer, Monet, and my parents showed up. Since my parents had arrived and could watch over sleeping Jack, Trevor and I were able to go for a walk. We strolled through the field as the sun rose and the deer came down from the mountain for their morning drink. As we made our way to the corner of the property, we explained to Monet how special the land we are currently living on is, because it was Trevor’s Grandpa’s property and he is buried in the cemetery right beyond the fence. To have a Monks baby on this land just meant so much to the both of us, so everything about our morning walk felt perfect.
The midwives had arrived, and we met them back at our trailer where they took mine and the baby’s vitals. Trevor and I continued to flow through the waves, as Jack woke up and the sun rose higher in the sky. Our little guy was so excited to be with his grandparents and eat all of the donut holes that his little tummy could handle.
I wanted to walk again, because it had felt so good to move between my surges, so Trevor and I were off, this time making our way up and back the long driveway. I would groan and lean into him, and he would hum along with me, allowing me to listen to the vibrations through his neck and chest. We kissed. We hugged. We cried. We were just so thrilled to be bringing our baby here to us, together.
Once we arrived back, I emptied myself in the bathroom, moved through more surges on the toilet, and then entered the pool that was now full in the living room of our trailer. I was never sure that I had actually wanted to even labor in a pool. It was not an idea or birth that I was committed to, but once I got in, I was immediately comforted and in awe at how comforting the warm water felt to me.
The waves felt good, and I was beginning to feel excited, so I reached inside myself (something I never did during Jack’s birth) and felt the hard head of my baby. This began to motivate me, and I thought it was time to give into my urge to push. As more surges crashed upon me, I began to get a little frustrated for the first time. After each contraction would subside, I could feel the baby almost suck back into me. It made me feel as though all of my hard work was for nothing and I would have to start over. My midwife, Shari, discovered and informed me that I had gotten a bit ahead of myself and was only nine centimeters dilated while pushing, causing the “lip” of my cervix to become pinned between the baby’s head and my pubic bone. I had options: One, to allow my midwife to sweep the cervix away from the head during a contraction, which would be fairly painful. Or, two, flow through more contractions without pushing until my cervix had time to relax and release from where it was at that moment. I decided to allow Shari to do what she was able to do, and after two of the most painful surges of my life, I was complete, and the baby’s head dropped.
It was only my skin holding the baby back from being here with us, and so I pushed. I am unsure how much I had pushed until the head was out, but it did not feel long and Trevor, Shari, and myself had all six of our hands on our baby. Typically, Shari would not have been as involved with catching our baby, (because she loves to leave it up to the mother and father) but at some point she had noticed that the cord was tightly wrapped, so she assisted in getting it unwound (it was wrapped three times around the neck) before we pulled our baby up out of the water.
My god. The relief was as beautiful as I remembered it from my first birth. I was overwhelmed with emotion that it took some time to even realize that I had not even noticed what gender our baby was… She was a girl, and the surprise of that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. She was quiet, and calm, and barely made a sound as she breathed her first sips of air and pinkness expanded over her skin. Trevor hugged and kissed us, and we soon moved from the pool to the bed to deliver the placenta.
Runi Rae Monks was born at home in our trailer on August 9th, 2020 at 10:50am weighing 7lbs 11oz and 21 inches long. We delivered her in the presence of so much feminine energy and my husband’s gentle strength. Jack is warming up to being a big brother and handling sharing his “teetee” with more patience every day. Our Runi is healthy and perfect, and, besides some minor tears on my end, I was reborn as a mother again.
When it came down to deciding on the type of birth that I desired for myself, this baby, and my family, it was so important to me that I had my midwife, Shari there. It did not matter where or how I gave birth, I just only knew that when it came to my body and my soul, I had to feel safe, protected, and connected to those around me at the time of the birth. Bringing life into this world is so sacred, and in so many ways, our culture has lost its connection to that. I know that not everyone can birth at home (I was not able to with Jack since he was pre-term), but every woman should understand that she has rights and choices in every circumstance. Demand them. Never be afraid to ask questions, in fact, question everything. By doing this, more women will have less birth trauma and more empowerment. Giving birth is amongst the most defining moments of our lives, so it is imperative to advocate for yourself so that the experience can be beautiful instead of harmful.
I am beyond grateful for the strength and loving energy that my husband possesses and shares with me. This birth connected us deeper than I ever could have imagined, and his commitment to the experience made it so. My tribe, our family on both sides, have been so helpful and thoughtful in countless ways, and we feel so lucky to be surrounded by all of them Obviously, my midwives Shari and Robin, are my soul sisters, and I’ll always be thankful for the bond that this crazy, trailer park birth granted us! And lastly, I cannot thank Monet, our birth photographer, enough for being present again for our second birth. There is so much value in birth photographs and the story that they can tell for the rest of time.
I hope everyone enjoys our story and birth photos as much as we do!
-Bree, Trevor, Jack, and Runi
